Pee's got talent

TV shows

So basically what would happen if your poop had its own specific talent. Probably it will go to Britain's got talent or America's got talent or Afghanistan got oil .  Yes Afghanistan has oil... I guess.
Okay. Imagine your poop coming out of the toilet and singing or better having a dog and doing stupid tricks. Because that it is what these shows  have become. I could go up there and say I make poop blogs for life and they put a sad song behind my introduction scene. Yeah and then I go out there and Simon says: So what is your name? And I will say Mr. Toilet, How old are you? I am 103 sir. And the audience would go WOOOW and clap.  And then they will ask, so what is your act? and I would say I can pee a hundred liters  while singing and making drawings with my golden liquid.  And the audience would get in awe and disgust. And Simon would press the X, and David would look at Simon in disapproval asking "Why"? And so Simon says well.... good luck..
Some clapping from the audience.

And then music starts from the background something trendy like Taylor Swift Bad Blood, and Urine-san gets out and begins singing and dancing showing its dope skills. And the audience in awe claps. Alesha opens her mouth wide open just like when you can't get that poop out after a long hour of seating merciless in the toilet. And Amanda laughs like a cow after getting its tits sucked by grass poop. David just laughs and looks at Simon and  Simon just can't believe it so, he give the golden buzzer. And Urine-san has it there, It is going to the final. And dramatic music starts. And for the final the act is again Bad Blood by Taylor Swift. And it begins singing it. And there is like great turmoil and stuff. And blood goes everywhere and splashes while everyone looks at Urine Sama's amazing back flips and stuff.  And then everyone claps so hard they get blood and Selena Gomez appears from nowhere to just take a dump in the stage.
Then when the final decision is taken by the public some other crappy act of a cat touching a keyboard wins. And that was Urine-samas five minutes of dramatic success.

Life is Hard but there is always next year or X factor.

Lol
here is the amazing drawing.

Poop Work OUT

Yes we do work outs now

Hello fellow citizens or denizens of the toilet area, here we are united together all of us inside us, to follow the instructions and wisdom and knowledge of Ripped-poop.
RP has a 6 pack and awesome pecks even though poops have no body RP HAS.
RP has always been the most powerful and useful in the poop realm, because of its sexiness and harshness.   RP is so hard to get out of your anus that you will bleed and it hurts itai itai and there is nothing you can do to stop RP from getting out once its head is out or lower body. IF YOU STOP PUSHING it will hurt more and RP will be cut in half and the half that continues inside your anus will stay there UNTIL there is another poop.  AND IT WILL ITCH AND HURT like hell. There is no salvation no not one.
Respect RP it is the saviour of humanity and toiletry. OMG GOOGLE WHY DO YOU HATE BRITISH WORDS SO MUCH GAAAAAAAD I can't write saviour as saviour I have to write it as savior. I think my settings are in american I must change it. Murica. There is no freedom and no 9/11.  It was all a lie. America controls everything and their poops are incoming towards every other country. It is not safe for everyone or anyone. Poops protect your children and toilet papers fix yourselves.

Okay so RP is going to tell us how It got its six pack:
RP: "SO like ummm while passing through the intestinal conduct as I was created. my lower body and upper body had to move a lot and maintaining a hollow body position and front levers and back levers and dragon flags all over my journey..... Oh like the hobbit but more boring... So then When I got to the anus I realized I was too ripped to get through so I had to work my biceps and triceps and deltoids and stuff and pecs and collarbone and nipples.... Yeah it was hard, But I used my knowledge in calisthenics and gymnastics to do that, there were no lifts there... the only stuff you could lift was yourself! You'll amaze yourself what you can do inside the rectum haha haha... so finally I was strong enough to get out of the anus and splashed into the toilet water and realized that I wouldn't dissolve like the other poops... that is the moment I knew I was special... so I am going to show an easy workout routine that will help you acquire the fitness and muscle development you desire....


Do this only in the toilet:
Sit ups from the toilet: 3x25
Pistol squats: 3x15 each leg (don't touch the water)
diamond push-ups: 3x10 with legs in the upper toilet
pylometric or dynamic push ups: 3x5 with legs in the upper toilet
clap push up or double clap: 3x5 trying to get higher than the toilet seat and returning to ground without splashing all over like diarrhea
planche from the toilet 30 secs x5
handstand pushups from toilet seat 3x5
dragon flags from upper toilet 3x15
yeah
That is all you have to do
and when you fall into the toilet water do 35min of swimming in circles before it flushes in.

I hope this helps you get a better and healthy poop body"

So there it is RP is giving you what you need next time RP will give you its villi diet.

Wow so fat so amazing so hardcore very wow much awe
here the amazing drawing, well it is a motivational poster fat people of the world.

Make your poop be slimmer now! CALL I-DONT-CARE-800 right now and you will get free toilet paper sheets to wipe your poop sweat off.

ALLAHU AKBAR AGAIN!!!!

This is awesome

The terrorism factions in the toilet have now begun to understand each others ideals and their common goal. Their common goal: destroy the toilet. To do this they must help each other and unite. They must mix together as a sole mass. Ass an ass ass an as an anus yeah syllable game yeah

Their power united is like five jet fuels in the 9/11 accident, even Bush couldn't have thought of THIS. THIS is why I am writing in capslock. 

Bush has no the answer to everyone and everything because Bush is a plant such as Bush Gardens. 

And Obama is hiding everything from us because he poops in different locations at different time zones, there is no escape to the conspiracy, there is no POOP inside a toilet anymore or a toilet paper roll in the public restrooms. Walmart doesn't have automatic toilets anymore is this because of skyline haha no it iskynet. So yeah the girl from game of thrones the hot one khaleesi it is hard to write that name, I can only imagine all the ghetto and ratchet girls named as her, but anyway, yeah that girl is in the new terminator movie which looks somewhat awful but until seen no judgment done. 

But yeah in the last game of thrones the queen mother queen cersei yeah thanks poop-sama got caged by the religious fanatics, and according to wikipedia's summary of the books, she will get naked soon!!

WOOO

a

yeah so closing that parenthesis, 

the situation in the middle toilet has not changed since yesterday both toilet papers and poops are blasting the toilet as hard as they can. They do not care about religion or religious freedom any more they only want to blast the toilet they shout ALLAHU AKBAR  to the sky singing ALLAHU ALLAHU ALLAHU AKBAR bombs and kamikazes yay.

Poor toilet it is going to die, its drainage is going to get stuck so hard, and its hole is not going to be enough with all that material girls going inside it. Water will not overflow but it will use misdirection as Kuroko does in Kuroko no  basuke, and for those who have not read the manga yeah they win the game, in a miraculous shonen way.  

And that is how that manga ends, so sad. 

Now that the poops and tps are getting hard and breaking apart Toilet-kun, Finger senpai and Un-plugger sama are not here to help and we will see the continuation of this story in another episode of I DONT GIVE A POOP ABOUT SELF-RESPECT anymore, since ever. 

Pece out

get rekt

the amazing drawing down below....

my anus

..

:)

Windows 8.1 pro fix

Yes this is a thing now I write windows fixing semi tutorials now

I hate windows so much right now :( It made me poop without feelings. I had a serious situation going on inside my intestines and it couldn't get out until I fixed this crappy operating system.
Why is it called operating system if it is such a failure at operating simple tasks like updating SERIOUSLY WHY IN THE POOP'S HOLY NAME HAPPENED WHY!>!>L!LE:

Is it because I am fat?
Is it because my poop is green now?
IS it because I changed the toilet paper roll twice in 3 hours?
Is it because  my anus couldn't get clean after mol times wipes?
Is it because of the chemistry between my glutes  (why is glutes on red omg, is it not a word Is it your FAULT MICROSOFT-SAMA IS IT YOUR FAULT AGAIN>!>#>>#>@) and the toilet seat?
So yeah I upgraded windows 8 pro with WINDOWS FREAKING MEDIA AWESOME MUCH WOW CENTER (windows 8 pro wmc) 64bits fek, wait I did not upgraded windows update did GAAAAAAAAAAAD, but okay and so first there was the black screen of death which I fixed in the past post haha past post or latter post or previous post yeah that is the right way to write it.
OMG I CRIED.
But I fixed it faking cmd COMMAND PROMPT FOR THE WIN
sO the next step was REACTIVATING THIS AWESOME OS
FAAEEEEEEEEEEEK
MY POOP couldn't get out and touch the refreshing toilet rivers. Oh poor poop it was really sad for it.
Ok the reactivation failed all activators failed kmspico kms mtk tool or something not even fakin skype worked, I couldn't watch anime or draw poop it was a nightmare
I couldn't write blogs, haha well I could but I wasn't feeling enough poop potential to overcome the sadness and not give a damn about not activating windows, also it WAS REALLY SLOW
SO I had another windows 8.1 pro in a booteable USB 2.0 HAHA AHAHAH Fajfldka;
and I installed that, keeping my files, and now I am finishing the installation and cracking of all my other programs, it was sad, I had to install all the drivers again, so
I WOULD NEVER upgrade again I will reformat always.
I hope windows 10 IS NOT THIS CRAPPY OMG
So after I installed windows 8.1 pro WITH NO MEDIA CENTER
then I had to wait like forever and then to activate it I used kmspico, IT WORKED AT LAST FEK

okay
Anime chan I am watching you right now
and I just pooped a lot I hope I can write more blogs now, I Want to do more videos now too.... I hope I can upgrade my laptop manually physically okay?

FEK I will go ALLAHU AKBAR TO ALL THE DAMN MICROSOFT OWNERS
I know BIll gates is not the ce o now so yeah....
here is a little drawing

This is a gif I don't know why I didnt uuploaded it as a png I AM SO LOST RIGHT NOW I NEED TO HAVE POOP INSPIRATION

Windows poop

Poop and windows

I hate windows as much as I hate hemorrhoids, but it is the only OS for real gaming so I have to endure it as rock poop in my anus. This is so hard for me there is no salvation.
So today windows 8 decided to update to 8.1 without my permission, :'(
First poops everything  poooooooooooooooop
So first
Black screen
yeah
awesome
much wow
very frustrating
so tedious
much doge
not even toilet pooping could help me
until
I fixed by going to task manager ctrl alt del and then scroll to explorer, go to search in C:windows and then get without toilet paper and search for THIS FAJFADFJALKDA: Windows.UI.Immerse.dll see the 2014 one and copy and paste it to system32 FAK then on task manager write explorer.exe and done. YEAH BUT FIRST
I WENT TO SAFE MODE
so safe mode was task manager, new task, msconfig, then go to boot and change it to safe mode minimal, reboot,. After reboot I  went to task manager again, and cried and new task control panel, and went to device manager and then to intel graphics and nvidia and disabled them, ughh......
BUT NOW THIS CRAP IS SLOW FAK MAI LAIF

:'(
WHY
ISN;T POOP CUTE ENOUGH
WHY
WHY DOES WINDOWS HATE ME
FAK
I KNOW I PIRATE WINDOWS BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE MICROSOFT
I HATE YOU I HOPE WINDOWS 10 FIXES EVERYTHING
IF I DONT INSTALL IT BY UPDATE I AM GOING TO PIRATE IT ANYWAY SO F U WINDOWS
Now I don't know what to do I am waiting for the driver updates since this thing can't update right now or something......
Poop geek doesn't even help me!!!
FAK
69 hours of my life lost in depression and frustration !!!!!!!!!!
WHYFAHALSDHFLAG
gajkjfkldafka
jf;ajkfdaf
here is the amaze drawing

ALIEN POOP 3 THE REKONING

WHAT

This is an alien poop story again. SO AMAZING SO HYPED MUCH WOW
So there was this alien poop that had to invade England. Why England you may ask? Keep asking.
There is no real answer to why England is the only place on earth apart from the U.S. that Obama will not sell aliens to.
SO this alien started a little war in a little farm in a little lake inside little island inside a little lake inside a tree. Why did it flew over there? We still have not find refutable evidence to tell otherwise. IS it because we have no real life anymore?
Maybe the toilet paper is getting us too close and we need to stop the fighting.  Toilet paper is becoming hipster again omg!!!
OMG
OMG

Is life so hard now that we have to fight aliens and hipster toilet papers?
Why can't we be at peace!!
Corruption in the toilets follow us everywhere!!!
Is it all OBAMA's fault?
Is 9/11 really a holiday?
Why is BUSH NOT HERE ANYMORE?
That is why we must sing Andy Grammer's song
Oh no poop I am good I could have another dump but I probably should not I got some toilet at home and If I stay I might need to poop alone!!
There is no rape in this story because I GOT TIRED and I NEED TO SLEEP SOME MORE BUT NOT IN THE TOILET BECAUSE MY LEGS HURT SO BAD!!!

here is the amazing drAAAAWING

simple drawing

I have needs

Everyone has needs
and right now I need to keep pooping
The poop inside me is taking control
so I'll just leave this simple drawing here.

this is a leaf poop because it flies away with the wind just like your future hopes and aspirations that will never come true.

:)