Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Poop Leg Workout

Motivation

We need motivation
to get up and poop at 3 am, it is hard I know you know we know everyone knows
BUT YOU MUST DO IT
YOU MUST GET UP AND TAKE ALL THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM SO THAT YOU CAN START YOUR DAY AND BE HAPPY FOR LIKE 2 HOURS A DAY
IT IS SOMETHING

so
here we go this is another poop workout

It works
it actually works
it helps muscle strength, balance and coordination, and flexibility and allows you to take bigger and larger and longer dumps so that you can feel the freshness inside you
yes
fresh
poop
coming out
of your
enormous anus
yes
so much poop
feel the mint
linux mint
aww yeahh


so here it goes:

3 x 15 air squats
3 x 15 closed feet air squats
3 x15 sumo squats
3 x15 cussack squats
3 x15 pistol squats
3x15 elevated lunges
3 x15 jumping lunges
3x15 jumping squats
3 x15 kneetucks
feel the burn yet?
feel the pain yet?
feel how much you hate yourself for been a fat crap yet?
no?
then
go on and repeat it 3 times
and then for cardio
rope skipping for 15 min  with lunges and squats integrated


so much HARDCORE

so much openness in your butt YOU ANUS will be so free
DO NOT CONFUSE THIS WITH GAY ANAL SEX OKAY!
DONT
PLZ DONT
THIS IS A CHILDRENS WORKOUT
IF YOU FEEL THENEED TO POOP WHILE WORKING OUT PLEASE GO AHEAD AND for each minute you are pooping increase 2 minutes of rope skipping

ok?
IF YOU DO NOT POOP WHILE WORKING OUT THEN
YOU GET TO POOP AT THE END A MASSIVE GIANT DUMP SO PROUD OF YOU AND YOU WILL CLOG THE TOILET AND YOUR FAMILY WILL ACCEPT YOU AS WHO YOU ARE
A MASSIVE FAT HARDCORE RIPPED LEGS POOPER
yes
that was so inspiring
yesh
that is what wee need
yesh
ohhh yeshhhhhhh



don't forget to change toilet paper rolls and be aware that maybe you will bleed

okay so I made an amazing drawing

I hope you love it and keep it in your hearts
love
mister poop-kun





Thursday, May 28, 2015

Poop Work OUT

Yes we do work outs now



Hello fellow citizens or denizens of the toilet area, here we are united together all of us inside us, to follow the instructions and wisdom and knowledge of Ripped-poop.
RP has a 6 pack and awesome pecks even though poops have no body RP HAS.
RP has always been the most powerful and useful in the poop realm, because of its sexiness and harshness.   RP is so hard to get out of your anus that you will bleed and it hurts itai itai and there is nothing you can do to stop RP from getting out once its head is out or lower body. IF YOU STOP PUSHING it will hurt more and RP will be cut in half and the half that continues inside your anus will stay there UNTIL there is another poop.  AND IT WILL ITCH AND HURT like hell. There is no salvation no not one.
Respect RP it is the saviour of humanity and toiletry. OMG GOOGLE WHY DO YOU HATE BRITISH WORDS SO MUCH GAAAAAAAD I can't write saviour as saviour I have to write it as savior. I think my settings are in american I must change it. Murica. There is no freedom and no 9/11.  It was all a lie. America controls everything and their poops are incoming towards every other country. It is not safe for everyone or anyone. Poops protect your children and toilet papers fix yourselves.

Okay so RP is going to tell us how It got its six pack:
RP: "SO like ummm while passing through the intestinal conduct as I was created. my lower body and upper body had to move a lot and maintaining a hollow body position and front levers and back levers and dragon flags all over my journey..... Oh like the hobbit but more boring... So then When I got to the anus I realized I was too ripped to get through so I had to work my biceps and triceps and deltoids and stuff and pecs and collarbone and nipples.... Yeah it was hard, But I used my knowledge in calisthenics and gymnastics to do that, there were no lifts there... the only stuff you could lift was yourself! You'll amaze yourself what you can do inside the rectum haha haha... so finally I was strong enough to get out of the anus and splashed into the toilet water and realized that I wouldn't dissolve like the other poops... that is the moment I knew I was special... so I am going to show an easy workout routine that will help you acquire the fitness and muscle development you desire....


Do this only in the toilet:
Sit ups from the toilet: 3x25
Pistol squats: 3x15 each leg (don't touch the water)
diamond push-ups: 3x10 with legs in the upper toilet
pylometric or dynamic push ups: 3x5 with legs in the upper toilet
clap push up or double clap: 3x5 trying to get higher than the toilet seat and returning to ground without splashing all over like diarrhea
planche from the toilet 30 secs x5
handstand pushups from toilet seat 3x5
dragon flags from upper toilet 3x15
yeah
That is all you have to do
and when you fall into the toilet water do 35min of swimming in circles before it flushes in.

I hope this helps you get a better and healthy poop body"

So there it is RP is giving you what you need next time RP will give you its villi diet.

Wow so fat so amazing so hardcore very wow much awe
here the amazing drawing, well it is a motivational poster fat people of the world.

Make your poop be slimmer now! CALL I-DONT-CARE-800 right now and you will get free toilet paper sheets to wipe your poop sweat off.






Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Frustration poop

Why is poop so hard to get out?



Pooping is hard, your life is hard, my life is hard, the dog's life is hard, we are all going to die, maybe pooping maybe peeing maybe just by a bullet.
When bullets fly through your head, you may not notice but bullets have poop. YES poop. How do you ask? No? okay.. I won't tell you then :(

Let's start again:

When toilets get hard because of reasons unknown to mankind only to poop and illnesses, your life gets harder. You can't poop as you have always pooped, you must be careful not to clog the toilet, and flood the bathroom.  If you flood the bathroom floor, the titanic may not sink, and the poor Iceberg will not be Jewish.

When the toilet clogs and you have diarrhea your ideal day goes down, you must go and seek another toilet to clog and blame on some one else, and that my friend is a lie.
A lie that will provide you comfort and nirvana.
Maybe Kurt Cobain didn't suicide maybe he just drown in his own diarrhea. Diarrhea isn't that bad but in this case, it is.


See what I am writing about is about the frustration of not been able to find a theme to write about and just scribble random thoughts that come when you listen to music or farts.
And this frustration inhibits your creative process when pooping. So to fight this void you must poop again, from the start. Eat some fiber and wait and when you start pooping again normally that is the answer to life.

Life is poop and poop is life, never forget that my friend because your poop will led you to your success in the most awesome way.
Believe in your poop, not in yourself, believe in your toilet not in yourself, believe in yourself not in farts. Farts are evil and so are sharks.

Sharks poop differently, motivate yourself like a shark and  poop in a unique way.... and this is the end of this blog,
Here is the fabulous drawing.



Thursday, April 23, 2015

Tsundere-poop! Poop motivation

Tsunderepoop-chan


Fast days go by, and today is furious. HOE HOE HOE HUE HUE HUE Kill me plz...

So you know when you poop and you poop hard enough to get all of your guts out, I'm saying guts out as in intestines, gallbladder, bladder, kidneys, urethra, ureters, vile, and spleen; yeah, no the lungs got out of my ass hole type.... I'm not that hardcore yet....
So when that happens, and you push and sweat and you feel the blood coming out and the poop struggling to get out and it feels like knives cutting your ass and you know you do not have to stop it there because if you stop you have to restart the pushing and pulling  process and yet you stop because your heart rate increases so much and hell ascends on you and heaven forgets you exist and you feel the flames all over you turning you into the demon you really are and yet AND YET the lovely poop doesn't come out.
Your faith in God maxes out and you claim GOD PLZ GED LOL PLZ DONT FERGET ME GED GED AM DEYING GED PLZ GED LET IT OUT GEEEED..... And then you realize there is no god that Nietzsche was right! (was it Nietzsche or Freud who said that?... who cares.. I care..I'm gonna google it.....plz wait.........................................................I was right it is Nietzsche... haha I still remember this stupid crap... psychological crap OOMG I'm going to draw the psychological poop next time yah yah yah..) so where was I? mmm mmm oh ok
So you realize there is no god now and that when you die from this awkward pooping session there is nothing but blackness and darkness and black stuff and nothing but in color black (colour black cause we're British/Australian/NZ/Indian/etc.. now....)
You begin to pass out and then you think maybe there is a God and I'm just forgetting the light that guides me and then you see the light at the end of the anus and you are sweating blood and you feel the heat in your heart and begin praising God because PART OF THE POOP CAME OUT And you are all believer now, You just got motivated and think you can push it all out... and you make your last effort, you think such motivational words like "Just do it-nike" "Push yourself harder everyday" "Life is 1% inspiration 99% perspiration", "Do the salamander" "Started from the bottom Now we here" "Wreck it Ralph" "My favourite anime is Cory in the House" "When is naruto going to end... why the poop is still running with boruto what tha thahthahthah" "what is wrong with me" "why is my life so hard" "When I sweep my room there is no dust and yet I keep cleaning" "Uptown funk you up uptown funk you up" etc ,etc et,cfa;ljf;lka
aND YES YOU DID IT
YOU THREW THE POOP OUT OF YOUR ANUS
AND YOU BEGIN TO WIPE YOURSELF
and think what a beautiful masterpiece came out of me... I must be an artist... and My talent is still hidden.....
So yeah that is the tsundere-poop
because: "It is not as If I want to stay stuck in your anus forever.... or something... STOP IT I didn't came out of your anus because I like you or anything YOU BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA"
this is getting really weabooish.... ok I'm okay with that....YOU BAKA
wut
wut
wut
wut
wut
this is the drawing of how tsunderepoop-chan looks yelling at you for throwing it out to the toilet....
"It is not as if I want you to flush me YOU BAKA waaahhhh"




Monday, April 20, 2015

Motivational Urine

Life is pee



"Life is 10%pee and 90% poop." By someone who doesn't pee enough.  What is wrong with people who don't pee like 45 times a day (minimum). What is wrong with this society? is this because morality has gone to far?? What has morality done to society ?
We need to return to the old days! When we could pee everywhere!! pee in the shower pee outside the shower pee after the shower pee before the shower pee during the shower!!!

What would your kids think of you??? what would your grand kids think of you?
They won't  understand poop or urine or pee!!!
The true nature of excretions! The golden liquid that comes out when you are suffering!!!
Life is nothing without pee!
But after all poop is always the leader so I think the quote is right!
POOP IS ALL
POOP IS LIFE
AND ITS MESSENGER IS PEE
PEE MIXES WITH POOP IN THE TOILET
TO CREATE THE JUICE OF LIFE
AND THEN WE ARE BORN
WE ARE BORN AS POOP-SANS


WE ARE LOVE
WE ARE LIFE
You know nothing John Poop Snow Pee
Game of Thrones and poop mix good
okay



Sunday, April 12, 2015

Poop hard

Motivation



You need to accomplish great things in life like pooping massive amounts of solids.  The more solid your poop, the easier it will get clogged the toilet. Some toilets aren't made for your poops, and you must accept that as a law. Life is hard and so is poop, but you will know how hard it will get and if it will bleed! Deep yourself in thought while pooping that is how you become a philosopher. Don't look at your mobile device LOOK AT YOUR POOP. PUT A MIRROR SO THAT YOU CAN SEE HOW HARD IS GETTING OUT. THAT IS LIFE THAT IS POOP.

Poop harder live better!
Life is not enough for poop you must increase your poop rate everyday. Don't be happy with what you accomplish today, work harder so that your poop becomes stronger. You won't notice the changes PEOPLE will notice your changes. THE TOILET will notice your changes AND YES
you may have to change the toilet pipes to bigger ones and invest BUT THAT IS WHY YOU WERE MADE FOR TO POOP. NO OTHER ANIMAL CAN POOP LIKE YOU (except every other animal) YOU ARE DIFFERENT (except you are not) YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH BIG THINGS YES ACCOMPLISH BIG DUMPS. DUMP YOUR GIRLFRIEND, BOYFRIEND, SO THAT YOUR POOP BECOMES THE MUST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE. THERE is no LOVE without POOP and no POOP without LOVE AND no poop without BLOOD.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
GET DUMPED TO THE TOILET AND SWIM LIKE POOP BE POOP FEEL POOP YOU ARE POOP. 




Sunday, April 5, 2015

Move motivation


Move just move



Push yourself harder everyday so that you may spend less time pooping. Sometimes pooping slow is not the answer to your constipation, sometimes you need speed.  Move your bowels move  your inner self. Be aware that someday you will no longer be able to hold it. You will take a dump everywhere and you will have to use diapers.  You will get rashes and you will cry, you will bleed. Life is hard but as long as you can poop to your wishing time  you are safe. You are safe now.
Your poop is safe. Your ass is safe. Your asshole is safe. Sometimes it hurts and bleeds but that is how poop is. Poop is life poop is love poop is movement, you are movement you are poop. 
What
wut
wut
eat fiber
no laxatives







Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Big Life Motivation

Motivate yourself




Motivate yourself to do what you cannot do today, but will do tomorrow. Eat more than you did today, and poop harder the next day. START TODAY POOP TODAY
POOP GROWS EVERYDAY
POOP LOVES YOU EVERYDAY
POOP NEEDS YOU
AND YOU NEED IT

See what happens if you don't poop a day!
Stop procrastinating and go poop yourself right now
TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I POOP
TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I CLOG THE TOILET
TODAY IS THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGES
Say that to yourself everytime you cannot poop because poop is the reason to live right here right now!
Is not pooping the way you want to live your life I GUESS NOT THEN CHANGE!!!
CHANGE IS EVERYTHING EAT MORE EAT POOP DREAM POOP DEFECATE POOP PRAISE POOP FOR POOP IS EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE

when you see a child with no mother or father you tell him YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU POOP DON'T YOU THEN POOP POOP IS YOUR LIFE
when you see a man with no legs YOU TELL HIM TO POOP HARDER
when you see woman with no arms YOU TELL HER TO POOP FASTER
THAT IS Poop
that is life
OMG
poop



LOVE POOP




Sunday, March 29, 2015

Relax be poop

Don't stress out




Be like poop, stay still, melt slowly or dry slowly depending on humidity and temperature of your surroundings.  Feel the breeze, the air flowing through you to you, enjoy while there are still not flies coming at you. Enjoy your warmth and moisture while it lasts, when you are cold and dry you are no different than soil.  Keep it simple. Enjoy the little things. 


Thursday, March 26, 2015

Dead poop motivation

Death quote


"It is not death that a poop should fear, but it should fear never beginning to flush"- Marcus Aurelius


The poop life is hard or soft or liquid, so is its death.
Learn from poop, apply the knowledge and wisdom given unto you by your morning dump.


Thursday, March 19, 2015

Go Beyond Your Limits

Go Beyond Your Limits



TP on One hand stand: Let's get out of the toilet and run free

RP on a planche:  The toilet is lava! 


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Love Motivation

Poop loves


















"Forget all the reasons why it won't work and Believe the one reason why it will "
-Anonymous

Monday, March 9, 2015

Strong motivation



 You need to be strong in life 

You never know how strong you are until there is no toilet paper near you....and you have to touch your baby poop -Vyen 

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Toilet paper Motivation

Motivational Poster #1


"The only way to last more is to be better than the toilet paper used before you"
-Vyen