Saturday, April 25, 2015

Poop Review: Avengers Age of Ultron

Yes Poop Reviews now....

***Huge spoilers if you are a sissy that complains about them***


The film starts like poop with Tony Scrap and everyone is together like nothing happened on Iron Man 3 and The Winter Soldier and Dark World.... Poop everywhere...  
The Hulk still a sissy now has sex with the black widow and Hawkeye has a family and it's tired and sissy poop stuff.  
The Scarlett Witch throws mindpoop to Tony STkja;rlaljkdk and he scared and poop and poop poop and so he creates Ultron with sissy Banner. Ultron same poop as always: "Human wrong Humans die Humans are the plague Humans blah blah blah.... crappy poop like that" 
Then Ultron goes against Avengers and throws poop at them. Some poop about Hulk been sissy again. And then Ultron creates Vision sperm. 
Vision sperm and egg not completed because poop reasons. Then Tony Stark and Captain Murica takes away vision body and poop in it.  Then Tony Stark, Puny Banner, and Thor conceive and give birth to their son The Vision and The Vision is Weird Looking poop.  
Then poop goes on special effects poop wow stuff....
Battle Ultron poop goes all over everywhere. A floating City/island  poops out... more battle effects much wow very sound... Not good enough to keep poop from flowing everywhere though....
More Allahu Akbar from Ultron and blows.....
mmm 
Silver something poop dies,... Hulk runs like sissy away.... Iron Man goes away... agaaaaaaain....Thor floats away...  Shield complete again...  or something poops....
mmm
Captain America and Black Widow now are the mother and father of a healthy new avengers team: Flying Black Guy with wings, Flying Black Guy with armor, The Vision, and Scarlet Witch.
Mid-credits scene: Thanos poops out a bracelet or the infinity gauntlet and poops comes out of his mouth... 

Final scene... Spiderman? stupif fffff poops

So this is filmcritic poop and it's verdict:














Wut wut da poop?! 
In da comics there was some time traveling and inter-dimensional stuff and wolverine and spiderman and fantastic four and more hardcore stuff but whatever....
Why was Quicksilver so slow, X-men's quick silver was way better but whateversssssss.. Toilet paper flies faster sometimes.... 
So much Hype for nothing... Thor gets a gay scene with a black guy, supposedly to be the trailer for ragnarok?!!?
We barely see any poop coming out of Scarlett Johansson's Ass.... 
Hulk obviously will return but way to sissy omg he was so annoying and gay omg.....
Even babypoops that stay in your anus forever are not so annoying and gay....omg
The trailers give away too much action, I might say that Poop flushing in a three way competition with toilet paper and urine has more action....
Maybe I am just getting too old for this kind of poop crap films... 
Ultron was way hardcore in the Comics, in the movie he is just mmm like a bad Jarvis.... 
I think The Vision is as gay as in the comics hahaha 
There are some cool scenes where Captain America and Black Widow share the shield poop.
Why they did have to kill Quicksilver omg so bad so bad seriously so bad So slow he dies from bullets SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYY omg so bad
Although the first movie copied transformers 3, this one I don't know what copied but it didn't felt as good. Winter Soldier was a little bit better and Stan Lee Gets drunk by Thor. 
Samuel L. Jackson is really old.... 
and Finally AND MORE IMPORTANTLY
HOW THE POOP DOES Robert Downey Jr. Grows so tall in the beginning scenes he is short and then in the last scene he is as tall if not, way taller than Captain America SERIOUSLY MARVEL WTF SERIOUSLY 
I don't know what more to say, 
6/10 IGN didn't read lol





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